Twinkly Dave – Mud splattered bicycle and pizza enthusiast Growing old disgracefully

February 12, 2007

It’s Killing Spree time

Filed under: bikes,lunacy - mine,lunacy - other peoples,on-one — dgpowell @ 11:22 am

First up, MBR1: We got 60 miles of it done (taking in 2134m of climbing and with barely a road crossing to break up the off-roadiness of it all) before steve’s leg gave up. We cleared the Pennine Bridleway section and got round the MTL section, all of which was frozen solid and therefore wonderfully fast (if a little sketchy when random sheets of ice appeared underneath you!)…in fact if it hadn’t been so cloudy we would have been able to see people at Peel Tower. Neither of us felt at all tired so there’s no doubting that we’d have finished the ride if we’d remained injury free.
up above the streets and houses scandal flying high
steve hits some random ice
bleak winter bridleway
You Click = It Big

But enough of such cheeriness, back to some misery. Sunday’s ride was one of constant, inch deep, wheel sucking sludge. The kind of gritty sludge that makes everything hard work (esp when combined with a headwind) and mens you don’t get anywhere for your efforts, except to a slightly muddier state. This was kind of depressing after Friday’s frozen skimming across miles of track and was made worse by the existence of other people.

“other people have a right to exist” i hear you cry. Well I’m sorry but most of them don’t. They are too thick
“why haven’t you got a bell”
“I HAVE got a bell, i HAVE been dinging it, YOU are too dozy to notice”
“Oy! You nearly hit me then”
“That’s because the four of you have managed, by all walking side by side, to block the entire BIKE PATH”
“Yeah, but you still nearly hit me”
“Would you rather i rode right next to your baby in the pram?!”
“err, no”
“then one of you, F-KING MOVE, just one, i don’t mind which one! Have some manners and let people past you”
“F-k off i’ve got a right to be here”
“You’ve got no right to block the entire path to people going the other way”
“yeah, but…”
“But F-king what?!”
“well, i…”
(this happened several times, despite riding towards people dinging said bell continuously)
and don’t get me started on the dog walkers with no control over their dogs…who then think that it’s the cyclists fault when the dog won’t “heel”, or runs off after the bike despite their cries for it to stop…

It would appear, on Sunday’s evidence, that these people exist purely to annoy anyone around them with their ignorance and absurdity (i’ve often wondered what would happen if one group of such path hogging people met another group walking in the opposite direction..would there be a mexican stand off?) and as such i feel they are ripe for the slaughter.
If you purposefully block my route past you (i’m not talking about if the track is too narrow for one person to get past another, i don’t mind waiting in those situations) i will slice your head off with a sword. If you fail to notice me slowly riding up behind you dinging the bell on the bars of the bike, or asking to get past i will slice your head off…and if you dare to proclaim “you should have a bell” when i’ve been furiously ringing it at you for several minutes i will dice your entire body into tiny little pieces while screaming at you.


  1. Amateur walkers, reckon they’re ace and own the whole world, however the weekday walkers are 10000 times nicer and have fully functioning eyes and ears.

    1 month and you can do after work offroad rides again.. woo!

    Comment by matt — February 12, 2007 @ 11:40 am

  2. I hate riding offroad at weekends around here. As Matt says, much better during the week[1]

    I might have my first day off the bike this year today ๐Ÿ™‚

    [1]unless you run into a coachload of fucktards taking up a whole 6m wide bridleway who fail to see you even though you’re riding towards them who then seem shocked to find a mtber squeezing between the edge of the bridleway and some trees. Cocks.

    Comment by Simon — February 12, 2007 @ 11:58 am

  3. ’tis true, everyone we met on friday (OK, we only met about 5 people over the whole day) was nice and seemed happy to be in the countryside…sunday just seemed to be a day to go and stand away from your house and be shitty to other people (esp. round rivi)

    Comment by dgpowell — February 12, 2007 @ 1:48 pm

  4. Case in point: today: I’m, going to arrive at a puddle the same time as people coming the other way.. people coming the other way STOP, I slow, pass though puddle, pleasantries are exchanged, we both carry on… this happened twice.

    Weekends: Same senario from me, I slow, go though puddle without creating splash Them: they carry on walking and complain about a non-existant soaking they’re got.

    Plus there was a hummannahummana woman at the Pike today.. which is always a bonus.

    Comment by matt — February 12, 2007 @ 4:04 pm

  5. Matt checks out chicks, frankly I’m shocked I thought he only had eyes for bikes!! note to self : I must re-evaluate my views of people ๐Ÿ™‚

    Dave you have a bell on your bike!!! that’s so wrong, Sod Sunday walkers, there just slalom poles that move!! (fact 9 out of 10 Sunday walkers drive to the country) – they won’t bat an eyelid when they clip you driving to close in there tin coffins so get them back on the hills, thats what I say!!

    Comment by wayne — February 12, 2007 @ 6:20 pm

  6. No wonder Steve got an injury, look at the way he rides in the second picture down! Head hanging off to the side, bike at an angle and right leg constantly bent in half. It’s like quasimodo on a Kona.

    Good to see him in the photo wearing those black stockings with the orange tops though, no matching suspenders?

    Comment by Guy — February 12, 2007 @ 6:59 pm

  7. “Matt checks out chicks, frankly Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm shocked I thought he only had eyes for bikes!!”

    Hey.. I don’t really care about **other** people’s bike, i mean let’s face it, they’re just a bunch of metal with round rubbery bits on.

    Comment by matt — February 12, 2007 @ 10:22 pm

  8. guy, we wre both riding like that…nice and calm one moment, completely out of control and all over the place the next
    ice is great stuff, especially when you hit patches of it on steep descents

    wayne, that bell rocks! no-one can be angry at you when they see you dinging a little ladybug while grinning at them

    Comment by dgpowell — February 13, 2007 @ 12:17 pm

  9. Where did Brant get that ladybird bell from? No one seems able to find out ….

    Comment by David — February 20, 2007 @ 2:25 pm

  10. […] Matt has beaten me to 2000miles, i would have been there early last week if the old road bike hadn’t died, or if steve and i had finished the mbr1 ride, or if the new chain on the scandal hadn’t exploded…and despite all that i’d probably have matched him by getting there yesterday if the freehub hadn’t died. Arse.   […]

    Pingback by twinklydave - a world of bikes and cake » Spinning around wildly — March 26, 2007 @ 9:39 am

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