Twinkly Dave – Mud splattered bicycle and pizza enthusiast Growing old disgracefully

December 22, 2008

I get urges

Filed under: bikes,lunacy - other peoples,rubbish weather — dgpowell @ 12:00 pm

to ride different bikes all the time.
Usually I ride the road bike after work during the week, so come the weekend I’m bored of it. This leaves either scandal and the cross bike (oh, there’s the SC bullit too, but that’s languished behind the fridge for so long now i’d be willing to bet it’s actually broken down into it’s component elements and turned to coal or something) to be battered during the weekend.

Much of the time what I ride at the weekend is dictated by what’s working and what need fettling, rather than what I feel like riding, but yesterday everything bike shaped was in decent enough order to make it a hard decision.
I ended up on the cross bike for no reason other than it was looking all shiney and fast while leaning against the bannisers in the kitchen (which is as good a reason as any). I’d intended to ride over salter fell and experience some nice remote wilderness…OK so it’s not exactly the middle of the highlands, but it is exposed enough to have once needed a mountain rescue point (until mountain rescue points became more expensive than people’s lives and it was replaced with a helpful notice saying “go to the nearest town and ring for help”…nice) and standing up at the highest point you can do a 360 without seeing any signs of civilisation for miles in any direction.
If you can stand up against the constant wind, that is.
I got to slaidburn in just over and hour and twenty minutes, which suggested that there was a fair tailwind pushing me along (it’s just over 30 miles, with a few lumpy hillocks to ride over), in fact as i stopped to check how powerful it was i was nearly blown over. Discretion took the better part of valour and rather than get swept of the side of the exposed hills, mary poppins stylee, i nipped over to gisburn forest to do a couple of laps of the mtb trails there.

The trails were suprisingly quiet, i’m guesing the festive season for most people means barging their way round shops rather than riding bikes, and the cross bike seemed spot on for flying round the singletrack. It didn’t seem spot on for playing on the ever-growing DH course being built up there, so i didn’t stop to check out how much bigger all the drops, jumps and berms had got and concentrated on hammering up the fireoads and round the twisty bits instead. Ace fun.

Rather stupidly I had forgotten to eat while riding out so a quick pitstop after the first lap for a high 5 bar (29p from home bargains, i’m a chav) and energy gel perked me up enough to hammer round again…until i caught up a group of walkers.
There seems to be something about middle aged and older women that requires them to treat everything that happens around them as an excuse to panic and mentally thrash around like…well, like melodramatic old women really; despite riding at 3.4mph towards them (i checked) and politely asking if i could “just nip past on the left”, one women came to a complete halt, hunched up and put her hands over her head, one further ahead of her lept into a ditch with a squeal and one just screamed something unintelligible as she waved her arms around madly.
The male counterparts didn’t seem to need any such mentalness and just politely stepped out of the way with a smile and even the accompanying dogs seemed able to cope, wandering off the path as they were summoned.
As i rode off I heard one of the women start to complain, before being told, in no uncertain terms to “give over, for gods sake woman, you’d think a ruddy bomb had gone off” by one of the now rather bemused men. Took the words right out of my mouth that did!

Another lap finished I headed home the way I’d come, at several mph slower as the now headwind battered into me and finally crawled through the front door, having failed to eat anything else, five and a half hours after i set off. Luckily the fridge was well stocked with cornish pasties, so any calorie deficit was sorted in double quick time 🙂


  1. I’m buying bells after xmas. I’m sick of trying to make enough noise to make them hear you and look round or roll up to them and say hello and they jump out of thier skin. I wonder if you use a bell you can just blast past at full tilt as they will be looking at you and expecting you.

    Comment by Tom — December 22, 2008 @ 12:19 pm

  2. i used to have a bell (a rather natty ladybug one, no less), sadly it made sod all difference – no-one ever heard it, no matter how hard i dinged!

    on the plus side, it was always satisfying when said dozy people shouted “why haven’t you got a bell” to reply “I HAVE, I WAS RINGING IT, YOU WERE TOO DOZY TO NOTICE IT” 🙂
    that always shut ’em up!

    Comment by dgpowell — December 22, 2008 @ 12:26 pm

  3. do you think this would work, looks kinda light!!

    Comment by wayne — December 22, 2008 @ 1:10 pm

  4. TBH i’m thinking of moving on from noise related items and going straight for

    tazer power

    give them all something to really jump about

    Comment by dgpowell — December 22, 2008 @ 1:34 pm

  5. Women, tsk! We can be a little annoying at times. Although I tend to take the male standpoint when it comes to passing people or being passed.

    Found you through Trio’s blog.

    Comment by Lost Sheep — December 22, 2008 @ 1:37 pm

  6. well, to be fair, there’s just as many arrogant men out there who seem to think it’s a slight on their manhood for them to allow you to pass, so we can conclude that there’s idiocy on both sides of the gender fence 😉

    you rarely see one loon paired up with another loon though – i’m guessing 2 loons together would drive each other into such a state of panic that they’d just explode…

    Comment by dgpowell — December 22, 2008 @ 1:48 pm

  7. Sounds about right to me!

    I usually yell at them that a cyclist is coming up to pass on their right….only for them to leap to their right and tut at me as I then have to swerve past them in either direction.
    Pedestrians. More trouble than they’re worth ;o)

    Comment by Lost Sheep — December 22, 2008 @ 5:24 pm

  8. Noted I shall only invest in one bell for the time being to check it’s effectiveness.

    Comment by Tom — December 22, 2008 @ 6:20 pm

  9. An air horn is the way to go 🙂

    Comment by Ian — December 22, 2008 @ 8:41 pm

  10. its only taken me for ever, come check it out dave be my first 😉

    Comment by Wayne — December 23, 2008 @ 9:24 pm

  11. dude, internets!
    you got linkage, but your comments are borked

    Comment by dgpowell — December 24, 2008 @ 9:13 pm

  12. over here is appears to be illigal to have a bicycle infront of you ….

    fully loaded down a hill at 70kph … a 55 (but i wasnt cycling furiously …my cx brakes just couldnt handle the 25/30kgs hanging off the rack) and a car still over took me …….

    Comment by Terry — December 24, 2008 @ 11:28 pm

  13. Cheers twinkers, i think i have sorted it now

    Comment by Wayne — December 26, 2008 @ 5:15 pm

  14. Those ping-ting bells don’t work, you need a proper old-fashioned der-ring-a-ling-a-ling bell – I have a big, orange Bob The Builder one.

    Comment by miketually — December 30, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

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