Twinkly Dave – Mud splattered bicycle and pizza enthusiast Growing old disgracefully

October 30, 2006

Sunday is faux-sports day at the supermarket

Filed under: lunacy - other peoples,not bikes — dgpowell @ 11:19 am

Riding on Saturday (in the cloud, fog, mist, murk and occasional rain..lovely) meant I had sunday to myself last weekend. Well, I say “to myself”, what I of course mean is that i had a different day to go food shopping and tidy the house a bit.
Now I’ve often wondered about the people who have sunday free every week to do nothing other than stumble around waiting for monday, I’ve had sundays fully booked with riding for as long as i can remember, so i wanted to get an idea of the people who never really found a sunday sport (not the paper) and what makes them tick.

I set of in annoying glorious sunshine and unseasonal warmth (evidently someone somewhere high up was teaching me a lesson for not riding on the sabbath or something) to the local supermarket, dressed casually with no bike branding or such on display – i didn’t want to scare off any non-sports types with my natural air of cycling greatness – and noted how all the runners and casual cyclists doing laps of the local docklands were almost glaring at me.

Once in the safety of the supermarket itself I realised that even if you don’t participate in any sports you should still try to convince everyone around you that, in fact, you are deep in training for something and that your entire life revolves around simply “being healthy”.

The first person to bring this to my attention was a middle aged woman wearing faux-cycling shorts, overly expensive cross-running shoes and a huge wooly fleece that had blatently been mis-sold to her. I stood next to her a the “make your own salad” bar, wishing she would stop pulling the faux-cycling shorts out of her arse with the hand she was using to dole out overly large portions of mayonniase garlic mushrooms (subtly covered in a thin layer of brown rice salad to keep up the healthy pretence) as it was putting me off, and noted how she would occasionally raise up onto her toes like runners do before a big race, before pushing the two pieces of veg in her trolley around. Of course, the two pieces of veg were beseiged by an army of biscuits and ready meals, but i guess we weren’t suppose to notice those.

I wandered off without a “make your own” salad, completed my shopping in approximately 3 minutes flat and decided to take a quick tour of the centre isle to see if i could find any other faux-sport stars. Within about 30 seconds i had my second big hit of the day. At first i thought another true sportsman had been forced to shop on a sunday like me, so cunning was his disguise. But as i got closer to him i realised that, although his jersey was a true running one, the bulging waist line (couldn’t see that from behind), “runstar” trainers (still gleaming white) and half ton of donuts in his basket gave him away. He gets the award from “most convincing faux sports star”

I won’t mention the couple in their matching tracksuits in any great detail, you can imagine what they were like for yourselves. I will only tell you that their trolley was full of the “reduced fat” and “healthy choice” versions of normal foods and all those reduced calories obviously halped them stay trim on the short walk to the ‘mother and child’ parking space right outside the doors that they had commandeered.

I thought that this dressing up might just be some sort of game, like a fancy dress party every week, until i wandered past couple after couple conversing about how they would definately do some sports as soon as they had the time. I actually started to think that maybe they were putting it on for my benefit as it seemed strange that so many people would be talking about the same thing at the same time. I guess it’s just like teenagers exaggerating how many girls/boys they’ve been with whenever they feel inferior…and in an environment like the faux-sports stadium of the supermarket they’d feel pretty damn inferior all the time.

I left quite quickly after hearing all the conversations, a little disturbed abut how these people could spend so much time enacting the life of a sporty person without ever actually daring to do some excersize. I got some funny looks for walking right through the car park without getting into a car…even though i was carrying some shopping…and decided that i fi had to go shoppnig on a sunday again i’d wear lots of bike related clothing (no lycra, you understand) to try and fit in more.

I think next sunday i’ll go for a ride…

October 26, 2006

like pigeons, dying

Filed under: lunacy - other peoples,not bikes — dgpowell @ 10:04 am

It must happen pretty much all the time, given the size of the country and the numbers involved. I mean take a look around next time you’re out in a town centre and you’ll see hundreds, if not thousands of them. They’ll all be wandering around clucking quietly at each other, occasionally puffing up their chests at each other and constantly getting under your feet as you try to eye up the bargains in the shop windows as they flutter past.

So if there’s so many of them where do they go to do it? Where do they drop down and offer everything up? Surely given the numbers of them involved there should be parks all over the UK full of them, constantly. There shouldn’t even be room to shuffle at the top of tall buildings to look at the views, but I’ve never actually seen it happen. I’ve hung round places where it’s ‘supposed’ to happen (with good reason, I hasten to add, I’m not just some sort of weirdo who hangs around these places hoping to see it actually occur, that’d be too strange) but as yet it’s never happened around me.

You see the aftermath of it I suppose, again usually around town when I’m shopping, but let’s face it, it’s not as good as the ‘special moment’ is it?

I’m wondering now if you see the events leading up to it, but never realise what’s actually happening. When they hurtle around looking like they have a purpose, travelling to strange places at odd times and looking quite distant and confused. Maybe they’re not just odd, maybe they know something that the rest of their population will have no idea about until it’s their turn, at which time they too will fly around from pillar to post looking unusually pensive. Searching for the right place to do it and checking that everything is as it should be. I guess that’s a slightly romanticised version of it, but hey, it’s a hell of an event…

October 23, 2006

Rubbish weather

Filed under: bikes,lunacy - other peoples — dgpowell @ 9:27 am

not even photoshop can sort out these drained out colours
Yesterday’s rain, forecast for the afternoon arrived early and stayed with us all day, making our “play and explore” of Gisburn a somewhat soggy affair.
Despite the constant deluge we had some fun hunting down new singletrack hidden in the trees, slithering up and down it and then contemplating where our youthful DH skills had gone as we stopped at the top of every drop or steep roll in like a pair of wussy girls.
(I blame the greasy, slime covered roots that seemed to be a precursor to every chute…and my tyres; they were the wrong sort for the conditions…honest).

In completely unrelated news, brant (well, brant’s wife, if we’re being pedantic) had a baby at the end of last week, so congrats go out to them.
Oh, and this weeks

loon of the week

award goes to Ed, who’s racing the Strathpuffer in January, as his first 24hr solo. That’s one hell of an intro to solo racing!

October 18, 2006

Bit of a shame really…

Filed under: bikes,lunacy - other peoples — dgpowell @ 11:11 am

Looking over next year’s event schedule thingy i noticed just how many clashes between events there are.
Every time there’s a Leisure Lakes race on, there’s an Open5 adventure race on somewhere else as well, which is a bit crap, but it gets worse…

…the weekend of the 12/13th May currently has 3 seperate events on it, CLIC24 down south, another Open5 race and a Merida 100K doo-dah all running at the same time. Even worse, both the Open5 and the Merida are taking place in the Lakes (at opposite ends) during the Cumbria Bike Fest (which is an event in itself really).
I guess it’s not such a pain if you’re only interested in one type of event, but if you (like me) just like taking part in lots of different types of race you’re buggered…as is any chance of doing well in any of the overall race series as you can’t enter enough of any one type.

Of course, I’m not factoring in any of the NPS xc/marathon races in this equation and i’ll be willing to bet they clash with other things too.

I’m pretty sure the BCF (or whatever they are called this week) have an events calender, as do numbplumz, so why can’t race organisers take a quick look when planning their events for the year and try (i know it’s not always possible) to work round each other?

I guess all these races taking place at the same time saves me a bit of money in entry fees, if nothing else!

October 16, 2006

Novelty Oversized Trophy

Filed under: bikes — dgpowell @ 9:41 am

reflections on a trophy
Yup, I won the Leisure Lakes overall race series and got a stupidly large trophy for my troubles as well as some money (- money immediately spent by angela on shiney new bits for her bike). Woo.
Another picture of me in some local paper apparently (“these are the pics we’ll use for the press release”…you have press releases now?) and, on the day, another win in the race.
Wasn’t overly impressed with the lad who came second’s decision to use the slower fun racers as moving road blocks, well, there’s nothing wrong with *that* per se – it’s all tactics i suppose – but when you cause several of them to nearly crash I think you’re taking it too far. Fair enough if you’re racing in one of the NPSs or some such thing, but in a fun race, like the leisure lakes ones, with newbie racers and first-timers all over the place you should really calm it down a bit.
Anyway, i won, by a minute or so in the end, so all’s well that ends well.
Back to base training now, which is actually quite fun as it allows for more “staring at the view” moments than the usual full on effort training…for now at least. Obviously once the nights draw in properly it will be mainly a “peer into the patch of light splashed on the road by the lights” affair, in the cold, and the rain, and the wind, with wolves following me though the deserted moors, howling to other creatures of the night about the tasty looking (slightly scrawny) meal that slowly grinding it’s way right through their lair…

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